Ep. 122 Honoring Your Season: Making Peace with Missing Out

Graphic image promoting Permission to Offend Ep 122 Honoring Your Season: Making Peace with Missing Out Photo of a phone and the podcast cover art featuring Rachel Luna

Ep. 122 Honoring Your Season: Making Peace with Missing Out

Are you an ambitious, high-perfomer (possibly recovering perfectionist) who is struggling to embrace your current season of life?

If so, I feel you! In this episode of, Permission to Offend, I share my personal journey of accepting and surrendering to my current season, especially after being presented with an incredible opportunity.

What do you do when opportunity knocks on a door you’ve already closed?

Join me as I dive into the importance of honoring where you are and making peace with it. 

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:35 – Accepting the Current Season of Life 

00:05:49 – Overcoming Challenges and Regrets

00:12:17 – Honoring Commitments and Making Tough Choices

00:15:53 – Closing the Gap with Integrity and Joy

00:16:22 – Finding Your Messaging and Content Footing

00:17:21 – Personal Connection and Community Engagement

00:19:06 – Developing Leaders and Spreading Positive Information

00:22:17 – Respecting Seasonal Differences in Content Creation

MENTIONED ON THE SHOW:

LET’S CHAT ON SOCIAL:

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: 

“Your job is to figure out how do you create and make offers and sell offers in a way that supports the season that you are in without projecting that onto your community.”- Rachel Lun

 

Graphic image promoting Permission to Offend Ep 122 Honoring Your Season: Making Peace with Missing Out Photo of a phone and the podcast cover art featuring Rachel Luna

Use code: RachelSpeaker and Get your ticket at https://bit.ly/TheEventPlannerExpo2024Tix

The Full Transcript

00:00:00

The center for Legacy Mastery presents permission to offend, the show that gives you both permission and strategies backed by neuroscience, along with the biblical word of God, so that you can build a business and life of freedom. I’m your host, Rachel Luna & Co LLC, award winning author of the best selling book permission to the compassionate guide for living unfiltered and unafraid. I am an international speaker, have been featured on the Today Show, Forbes, Huffington Post, Success magazine, Univision, People magazine, and many more. But really, I have a mission, a passion, and a responsibility to help you increase your faith, worth, health and wealth so that you can leave a legacy that you can be proud of. Now, let’s get into the show.

00:00:49
Well, here we are again, friend. Just you, me and my coffee. Good day to you. Good evening. Whatever time it is that you’re watching, watching.

00:00:59
You’re not watching me. You’re listening to this episode of the permission to Offend podcast. But that must have been a freudian slip, because it’s always, always been my intention to make this a video podcast. In fact, many, many, many years ago when I first started, I had a YouTube channel. And the whole reason I started a podcast was because I didn’t want to do my makeup for YouTube anymore.

00:01:27
And if you are a long, long, long time listener, then you remember that this show used to be called real Talk with Rachel Luna & Co LLC. And the intro, which I paid someone to do for me on Fiverr, said, your host is a whatever, whatever. And she started this podcast because she didn’t want to do makeup for videos anymore. Like, literally, that’s what the intro said. And yet, there’s this part of me that every single time I record an episode, like I’m doing right now on my phone, I’m so mad at myself.

00:02:02
I feel like such a failure because I do so very much want this to be also a video podcast. But that takes me to the point of today’s episode. It’s knowing the season of life that you’re in and exciting, accepting it and surrendering to it. Because every time I go to record an episode, well, maybe not every time, but I would say a good nine out of ten. I am feeling so a combination of excitement and frustration.

00:02:35
Excitement because I love any opportunity that I get a chance to chat with you and everyone else in our community. That, to me, is the most fun. And also frustration because there’s so much that I want to tell you, and it’s almost like I just want to, like, water hose you and tell you all the things about faith and worth and health and wealth and neuroscience and latest developments and these health things. And, and I don’t know if I’ve shared this with you before, but I also live at times with this deep regret of having changed the title of the podcast. There are so many days when I wish I had just kept it real talk with Rachel Luna & Co LLC instead of trying to retitle it again around the title of my book, permission to offend the compassionate guide for living unfiltered and unafraid.

00:03:25
And if I never told you that quick Sidebar. I made that decision because I wasn’t keeping my eyes on my own paper. One of the things your editor may tell you to do when you are working on your book cover and you’re kind of, you know, towards the tail end of the book writing process with a traditional book publisher is they tell you, go to the bookstore, see what you like. I mean, I had already done this, but we were also looking for interiors and whatever. And so she pointed me to another author’s book.

00:03:57
And this author also had a podcast. And I noticed that at the top of the author’s book, it was like host of the whatever the podcast name was, and the podcast was the same name as the book. And I thought, oh, this is so great. It’s so easy to remember. New people will find me, and that’s what I should do.

00:04:19
And shout out to Sydney Rogers, my editor, who said to me, are you sure you want to do that? Because you’re going to have to live with that. And if you want to change the title of your podcast, you’re not going to be able to change the COVID of your book. It’s going to be out there. And I was like, no, yes, for sure.

00:04:39
By the way, Sydney Rogers was also the one that said, are you sure you can add a little more God? I feel like your book is. I feel like we should be talking more about God. And that was is one of the biggest mistakes I made. I’ve spoken about that in another podcast episode because I kept saying no, I wrote this book.

00:04:57
I want everyone to read it. I don’t want to just talk to the christians. I want everyone to feel that they are welcome. And that is really what we’re talking about today. It’s knowing your season and recognizing that when you try to talk to everyone, you talk to no one.

00:05:15
When you try to tell everyone, when you try to tell the people everything, they don’t really retain anything. And this is one of the greatest challenges that I am working on overcoming. As someone who has a brain that presents with ADHD. Recently, I’ve gone back again to saying, like, my ADHD brain, and I know exactly what happens to your body physiologically at the DNA cellular level when you say things like that. Do you understand?

00:05:49
And this is not a Rachel Luna & Co LLC, you know, inference. This is scientifically backed research that your thoughts change, your genetic code, your DNA structure, moments by moment, thought by thought. So whenever I say my ADHD brain, there goes my brain encoding. And like, all right, we have ADHD, so we have a free pass to just act a fool and be all unfocused. So I’m not saying that anymore, really working on creating a brand new neural pathway to say, my brain, which has previously presented with ADHD, has a propensity, has had a propensity in the past, has had a propensity to want to overshare and tell you all the things about all the things, because we’re creators.

00:06:43
We are natural creators. But you have to recognize the season that you are in, and you have to make peace with it, because if you don’t make peace with the season that you’re in, you’re constantly going to feel the friction. I’ll give you an example. In this season of my life, I am not traveling, especially during the school week, Monday through Friday, no travel. This is a promise that I’ve made to my daughters, and I value my family.

00:07:12
I value my daughters. First God, then my family, then everything else. Those are my priorities, in that order. First God, family, everything else. And my daughters last year said to me, mommy, please stop traveling.

00:07:31
Please stop leaving during the school year, because we don’t like it when you’re gone during the school week. And I explained to them, honey, but this is my job. You know, I have people that I have to help, and you’re at school anyway, and when I’m home, you don’t even want to hang out with me. I tried to rationalize all these things. Long story short, I put my own needs and wants aside.

00:07:56
And I really listened to not just what my children were saying, but what they weren’t saying. And what they weren’t telling me is that when I am away during the school week, their nervous systems are dysregulated. When I am away during the school week, they don’t feel the safety and security that they need to excel and have good school days. That’s what they were saying without saying it. So I made the commitment.

00:08:24
And as soon as you make a commitment, let me tell you how you will be tested as to whether or not you are actually going to live up to what you’ve just decided because immediately, incredible opportunities began presenting themselves. In fact, there’s an event called the Event Expo, which, by the way, if. If you are an event planner, if you are a florist, a photographer, a videographer, a sponsor, you have any kind of product that you want showcased at large scale conferences. If you are someone who has a dream of hosting conferences, events, or retreats, the event planner expo is for you. If you are a speaker who wants to be on stages, the event PlAnNEr Expo is for you.

00:09:14
The event Planner expo is hosted by my friends at EMRG Media, Erica Maurer, Jess Stewart, they have Mario. They have a fantastic tEam. If you were part of my book launch in New York City and you were with us at Nebula, do you remember how incredibly fantastic. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go to rachalluna.com podcast and look for this episode. I will put pictures of that event on the show notes page.

00:09:50
That event was phenomenal, and it was designed, orchestrated completely from a to z, put together by the team at EMRG Media. But anyhow, so they have the event expo happening in New York City. I highly recommend I have a code. I’m going to put that code right on the description of your device. And if you want to ask me questions about it, dm me on Instagram.

00:10:20
I’m girlconfident. I will also link that right on the description on your device. Wherever you’re listening to this, because I cannot speak highly enough for this event. My point is, it’s a fantastic event. I really want to go to it.

00:10:37
I was invited to be one of the moderators, and I was talking to Erica, and she was like, what can we do to get you out at this event? I was like, erica, I can’t go. She’s like, why not? I said, I promised my kids no more during the weekday. I said, why can’t you make it on the weekend?

00:10:56
She’s like, what are you talking about? We can’t because. And of course, it makes sense, right? Conferences are typically, you know, when we’re talking about venues and things like that. Those people work Monday through Friday.

00:11:09
So, long story short, we go back and forth, and she’s like, Tim Grover is going to be a speaker. And if you don’t know who Tim Grover is, he is an amazing coach. I am such a fan of his work, and I’ve wanted to meet him, and this would be an opportunity to not only meet him, but also be part of something where he’s the keynote speaker, an incredible opportunity. Again, if you have even an inkling about being a host at a conference, host a retreat, host a small scale event, big scale event. If you are a speaker, an author who wants to get their book into the goody bags, if you’re a photographer, florist, anything eventish, you should absolutely go to this event.

00:12:00
If you haven’t promised your kids, like I have, that you can’t go during the weekday. And I had to say no to her, so she invited me. This is two years in a row, and I’m just like, I’m sorry. I made this promise. I cannot break this promise.

00:12:17
It’s the season of life that I’m in. And when you keep your promises for the season of life that you are in, you will begin to experience this freedom that you haven’t previously enjoyed. Not only that, but you’ll start to see how honoring the season of life that you’re in will have a ripple effect on the people in your life who are impacted by your decisions in this season. So I went back to my daughter. My youngest daughter is the one who is most vocal about me not leaving, but my oldest daughter is the one who’s most outwardly affected.

00:12:57
So I had a little chat with my youngest daughter. I said, did you hear that conversation? She goes, well, I heard some of it, but no. What happened? And I said, well, they really want me to come out for this event.

00:13:08
And I could see her face was changing. And I said, but I said no because I promised. And as soon as I said the word no, her face, all the muscles in her face relaxed. And the more I kept talking and explaining, I said, no. I promised my daughters.

00:13:25
This Kool aid smile came across her face, and she lit up. And she goes, yeah, that’s right. You made a promise, mom. You tell them, no, my mom’s not leaving. And by the way, this is a 14 year old.

00:13:39
This is not like a six year old. This is a teen already who has teenage things that she’s preoccupied with. And right in that moment, I knew I had made the right decision in the course of the conversation. But in that moment, there was that confirmation that right you’re honoring where you are right now. So I want to throw it back at you, my friend.

00:14:05
Listening. In what season are you in that you really just need to honor? What season are you in that you’re going to have to make tough choices. You’re going to have to say no to things that you really want to say yes to in order to fully enjoy embody, integrate who you are becoming. Do you understand that the season that you’re in is fully preparing you for who you are becoming.

00:14:33
And if you keep trying to push past the white knuckle, you’re going to be so dissatisfied. And I can tell you that as someone who can look back, I’ve taken so many bullets for our community, and I say that proudly, but also with a level of sadness because I can look back on this 14 year career that I’ve had in this coaching industry and 14 years of, well, I wouldn’t say a full 14 years, but I’ll say, like, a good ten years of not honoring myself, my vision, my values, my mission, my season, and constantly going up against the grain. Constantly trying to keep up with everyone around me, constantly comparing myself and just trying to find my way instead of just resting in the being and in the knowing of who I was and what God was calling me to do in that season, instead of just deeply anchoring into what was right for me in that moment. And I want to save you the next 14 years. I want to help you take not the shortcut, because I don’t believe in shortcuts.

00:15:53
In fact, I’ve learned that every time I try to take a shortcut, I find myself getting more delayed. But I want to help you close the gap. That’s a better way to say it. I want to help you tighten up the gap from where you are and where you’re trying to go so that you can do it with integrity, with peace, with freedom, with joy and fulfillment. And also, I feel like I need to speak towards those of you that are trying to find your messaging.

00:16:22
You’re trying to find your footing with content. I deeply understand that because, again, with this level of expertise that I have, with this level of experience. That’s a better word, not just expertise, but this depth of experience that I have every single day. I find myself wanting to share everything and falling into this overload of. I can’t share anything.

00:16:48
It’s too many things. My brain is smoking. I gotta go take a break. I gotta go for a walk. And when I look back on those moments, it’s really because I’m not giving myself permission to rest in the season and trust that the season that I’m in, that the information that I’m supposed to be sharing with you right now for that season, for that reason, is good and it’s correct, and it’s not going to be for all of you.

00:17:21
That’s always been one of the challenges that I’ve struggled with is that I know a lot of people in our community. I’ve had personal conversations with so many of you. In fact, it’s one of the things that I take a lot of pride in is I take pride in knowing that I know my community. I take pride in knowing that if any of you have ever come up to me at a live event and you’ve said, you know, you’ve explained your name, and I’ve said to you, tell me your email address, and you tell me your email. Yes, I know you, and I remember people through random things.

00:17:57
Or I’ll say to you, I don’t know your name. Tell me your instagram handle, and then I’ll know you. I’m like, oh, yes. I’ll say, pull up your profile picture. And then I’ll say, yes, I know you.

00:18:09
We met on this day. We spoke about this. And I take pride in that, that I know so many of you and that I have this, you know, personal experience. So when I’m sharing something, I am doing my very best to think about everyone. And it pains me that I know that there are some things that I’m sharing that are completely irrelevant to you in this moment.

00:18:33
So if you are that person for whom this episode is like, eh, I didn’t really get anything out of it. Can I ask you to think of someone in your life who, you know, who does need to hear this message, and can I ask you to then share it with them? And maybe you don’t have to hit that little, what is it, that little rectangle with an arrow button on your phone that then enables you to share the episode, but maybe just share the highlights. Just reteach this lesson because no more gatekeeping. Okay?

00:19:06
What? I know that in this season, God has told me to develop other people, continue to develop leaders. I heard very strongly for the Lord that I, Rachel Luna & Co LLC, am a leader of leaders. And so I don’t want to gatekeep. I want to develop everything that I have.

00:19:27
I want to share so that we can keep spreading this information. Good. Good information.

00:19:36
Positive tools, strategies, so that other people can be transformed, so that we can have a more compassionate, more empathetic, more understanding world. We do not have to agree on everything, but we do have to know how to work with each other despite our differences. We have to learn how to coexist in this world despite our differences. And we have to be okay with that, meaning that sometimes we are going to coexist but not co create. And the reason I say that is because I have a client that I was chatting with, and this client made an awareness that they want to work with a specific type of client.

00:20:27
And maybe you want to work with a specific type of client. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care about all the other types of clients out there, but you just know who you want to work with, and that’s okay. I think it’s important that we start normalizing that we want to be around people who are like minded. We want to build communities with people who are like minded. Why?

00:20:51
Because it’s easier to advance our goals when we agree on the mission, when we agree on the values of. And I want to warn us that as we’re finding our like minded communities, that we don’t mistake like minded for closed minded, because we have to be able to, to a degree, listen to what people who have different opinions from us are saying so that then we can decide. Do I agree with that? Does it align with my values? Yes or no?

00:21:25
So I hope that today’s episode has given you some encouragement, some confirmation, to rest in the season that you are in, to really embrace the season that you’re in, to create content based on the season that you are in for the people that you’re called to serve in this season. I feel like I really had to make that caveat because sometimes as content creators, we can get caught up in thinking, for example, so I’m always in this healed and staying healed season. So I’m always optimizing health. Just because I’m optimizing health, that doesn’t mean that my ideal client is in an optimizing health season. So I need to make sure that I am creating content for the season that I’m in to support my client in the season that they are in.

00:22:17
Recognizing that your client may not be in the same season that you are in, your job is to figure out how do you create a make offers and sell offers in a way that supports the season that you are in without projecting that onto your community. That is the challenge. Maybe we need to do a whole other episode on that, but I wanted to give you that little tidbit. Honor the season that you are in. Respect it create your life to be, what is the word that I’m looking for?

00:22:49
Conducive for the season that you’re in. Respect your community and your clients for where they are. It’s a beautiful balance. It’s a delicate balance, but I believe in you, and I know that you can do it. So if this episode blessed you, send me a dm on Instagram.

00:23:07
I’m girl confident. If you really want to give me a thank you, leave a review and or share this episode with someone that may find value in it. And I would love you the most if you would share it on Instagram and help me reinvigorate or maybe invite growth for the audience of our show. It would mean so much to me. But nevertheless, your presence and your participation in this episode is more than enough.

00:23:38
You are more than enough. You are so worthy, and I’m so grateful that you’re here. Until the next episode.